It’s a North Carolina summer. It’s hot.
Not just normal hot, but like “wading through a sulphuric swamp in the bowels of the Ninth Circle of Hell, where even Satan is sweatin’ like he popped a molly” hot.
Given that stepping outside is like walking onto the surface of the sun, there are a few strategies we can use to mitigate the fact that we’re living in a place where clouds dare not set foot and and the air is thicker than syrup.
We can A.) remain in/around a body of water, B.) wear minimal and/or protective clothing, C.) keep ourselves distracted, D.) make some cool drinks, or E.) just stay the hell inside with our AC and ignore the outside world.
Thankfully, there are a lot of local businesses offering unique solutions that can synergize with my patented Five Strategies for Not Being Driven to Despair by North Carolina Summer Heat ©.
Here are a few cool local businesses whose products can help us beat, ignore or even enjoy this late summer steaminess.
I’ve written about Brewsees and Jonathan Castellanos before. Jon is like that guy you knew in college who was always drunk on a porch or roof somewhere in a pinnie and salmon shorts, but who always had his stuff together and wasn’t a jerk.
He’s a bro—big time—but he’s sharp.
He’s managed to create a product that helps to not only shield our eyes from the harsh Carolina sun, but also drink enough to become impervious to the heat—his line of eyewear doubles as a bottle opener. The amazing part of this is they actually don’t look god awful and. In fact, the opposite is true.
As the average half drunk and sunburned Brewsees customer might say, “that’s pretty chill.”